The Ipodyssey

Once ago there was an ipod
tiny, shiny, sparkling grey -
it sat on the shelf at Circuit City
singing, "Please take me away!
Somebody with a love of Music
and an eclectic, classic taste -
Please, dear Fantasy Prince Charming
don't let this storage go to waste!"
And one day the stars aligned themselves -
Christmas was not too far ahead -
and a Handsome, Dark, Tall Stranger
strode through the grimy glass doors and said,
"I have traveled far and searched a-wide,
I have heard the sweetest song
of the perfect gift for my Beloved Wife -
the hands in which this ipod doth belong!"
Joy was spread, and Joy was sung,
and Joy was listened to
for many days after that Christmas morn
by that Wife whom the ipod belonged to.
They became 1 soul - ipod and Wife -
leave of each other they never did take.
Their lives were joined by Ear & iphones,
they even journeyed 'round Bear Lake.
But that was their last event,
it seemed, for Fate can be quite Cruel -
even for two souls who have shared The Greats:
Collective Soul, The Boss, & U2.
For the Evil DirtBag envied this bond
& suffered even to break glass -
DirtBag, the Coward, hid this crime from Wife -
he knew she would have kicked his a$$.
Many lonely days thus followed -
utterly magic-less, U2-less time -
while Wife pined in grey silence
with no resources, not a dime.
Sing, muse, the tale of Rage Gloriously Undimmed,
of a Wife with no Magic to her ear.
Ah, Fates, return Melody to this cubicle of Woe
for that Rock 'N Roll to hear.
Cry, Muse, this song of Losing
for who shall avenge a Music Lover's fraud?
No one now shall slay wretched DirtBag, who stole
my other half, my Christmas ipod.