Dear Self in 2012,
I don't know what particular trials are riding you right now, I don't know what items are adding stress to your schedule. Frankly, it doesn't matter. I want you to sign up for a Half Marathon right now. Go to the computer. Right now. Find a race. Any place, any day... just sign up.
Do it. It will be worth it. You will have some days where you know you are too tired to run. You will go running on some days and deal with side cramps and maybe chafing shoes. You will ache. You will run into the wind for miles and want to curse out loud. But Self, you will also have rewarding days. Days when you feel the pavement flying beneath your feet. You will feel the movement of your entire body from your head to your feet, flowing together. Your blood will pump in your ears, and your breath will set a rhythm for your entire body. You will feel the energy of the ground beneath you, and you will feel the joy of the sky above you.
Remember the Salt Lake City Half Marathon of 2011? I just ran it on Saturday, and it was one of those joyful days. I looked at the runners around me--thousands of them--and marveled at the symbolism they represented. Thousands of humans with a determined spirit inside them came out on the same day, April 16 of 2011, to conquer something difficult. Everyone had their own cause, their own motivation, to pound out their miles that day; but we were all on the road together, proving to ourselves that we could.
That is why I run.
An epiphany came to me somewhere between 5 and 6 miles. I had just passed an unexpected group of family members cheering for me. They waited for me on the side of the road, and cheered out to me as I passed. I think the picture of their faces is imprinted there forever now! I felt like my legs were lifting off the ground without any command needed from my brain. The only word I can think of to describe the moment was pure, overwhelming gratitude. For the support, for the strength I felt, for my body's ability to do what it was doing, for the day, for the moment, and for the husband with the camera who knew what it all meant to me!! :)
I'm convinced that the "runner's high" is not only a happy side effect. God gives runners--and, indeed, any athlete--endorphins to encourage them to fight through the physical strain. Like a little reminder that doing something that uncomfortable comes with a gratification you won't get somewhere else. Nevertheless... in case my body forgets the feeling of those lovely endorphins... Dear Head and Heart, this letter is for you. Remember that you actually WANT to go back for more!
Much love and keep fighting,
Your Self,
Samantha